I was never the type of girl who knew for sure I would be a mom. I am secure enough now to admit that, my whole life, I’ve been pretty indifferent to the idea – focusing more on what one might call selfish pursuits like socializing, travelling, fine dining and career. I passed on the babies being passed around in the office from moms coming to visit during maternity leave. I was bored to tears with toddlers.

Something definitely shifted when I hit 30. Cue the clichés of our biological clocks ticking, but there definitely was a noticeable seismic shift in how I reacted to babies and kids. As someone who used to stare bewildered at women who would coo and baby talk to kids, imagine my own disbelief when I caught myself doing the same thing. What was happening??

I blame my adorable nephew – the first real kid that came into my life and changed it. Cliché #2: it really was love at first sight when I saw and held him in the hospital. Never was anything so perfect. And that love only grew, watching him hit his milestones and say my name for the first time. Suddenly babies weren’t so scary and toddlers weren’t so annoying. That, and coupled with marrying the love of life, who is so amazing, really changed my trajectory from ‘no way’ to ‘wouldn’t it be nice?’

All of that said, I was still shocked when that pregnancy test came back positive. I mean, it’s not like we weren’t trying, but to be honest, we literally hit the bulls eye on the first go. That in itself was a shock. I really thought we would be the couple who had to try for a long time. In retrospect, we are so lucky and truly grateful we were able to conceive so quickly.

And now as I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy – I’m literally past due (ready when you are little dude!) I wanted to take a second and reflect on the past 9 months. Cliché #3: time did really fly by. I really did learn a lot about myself, my body, my relationships and am so grateful I got to have this experience.

I’m a firm believer that every woman and every woman’s pregnancy is different. It’s such a subjective and unique experience that every woman should own and embrace. And I have to say, my experience was much better than I thought it would be. I heard so many horror stories about nausea, stretch marks, fatigue, etc. that I literally prepared myself for the worst of it. Maybe it’s just me but I feel like if you prepare yourself for the worst, wherever you end up landing, it’s never as bad as you think, and you end up being pleasantly surprised. And while my experience may be what is considered lucky or ‘easy’ – I definitely came out of it with some insights I think are universally applicable to all pregnant women and their journey.

Check out my top 5 tips to prep for baby and rock your pregnancy below.

1. Plan ahead

Ideally, I would aim to get everything done or at least planned/organized by 30 weeks. I’m such a planner (sorry not sorry) and I can’t help myself. No matter who you are or how you carry, you will get slower and more uncomfortable after around the 30-week mark. I honestly had trouble putting on pants. I highly recommend reading a lot of checklists online – get a good idea of what needs to be done – and tailor the information to your life and space. Not everything that blogger is telling you to do applies to your life and needs. Make tons of list for yourself. I personally don’t write anything down and use my notes app on my iPhone and constantly update and reference it. I wrote lists for everything – what to buy, what to register for, what to prep in the house (reorganize, reno, etc.). And I divided and conquered – my husband got his own lists too! That way we were both being as efficient as possible. Getting everything (mostly) done before the 30 weeks mark really helped me relax and enjoy those last two months.

2. Start building your community/support early

Pregnancy and new motherhood can be isolating. On top of that, your social groups may shift as you become pregnant and you might find you’re not doing the same things anymore with the same people. In order to thrive during pregnancy (and postpartum) you have to find your tribe – a group of people (whether in person or online) you can connect/relate to that are going through the same things as you. What really worked for me was tapping into friends or acquaintances that were also pregnant or new moms – going for walks, brunches, etc. It’s always comforting to connect with people that are on the same path or have similar experiences as you. Besides that, I joined as many FB mom groups as I could and just started reading the posts in my spare time – you learn so much by doing that. I joined reddit groups. I googled forums and searched anything and everything in my spare time. There are so many places, physical and digital, where you can connect – whether its prenatal classes, mom blogs, reddit, FB, Instagram, Pinterest. See what content speaks to you and assemble your tribe.

3. Do all the classes and read (almost) all the books.

Up until we got pregnant, we had very little exposure to babies and how to take care of them or interact with them. I had a nephew but we saw him for a couple hours at a time and it mainly just involved easy play. We had both never even changed a diaper! I knew we needed to dive in head first and take some classes to prepare. Luckily our hospital offered several prenatal classes, which we took and found very helpful as a general crash course. We also did a CPR course, which was super helpful and informative – it was also the first time I learned how to assist with chocking and CPR for both infants and adults. I would also recommend taking a breastfeeding ahead of time (if you are planning on breastfeeding). Don’t assume it will be easy and that you’ll get it right away. Breastfeeding is a combined art and science and actually requires a lot of prep work, so it’s best to get ahead of the situation before baby comes. I recommend taking your partner to all the courses, including the breastfeeding one. You’re in it together, and as our lactation consultant so eloquently pointed out: “your brain comes out with the placenta.” So, at the very least, both of you have the information in case one of you has extended baby brain.

In terms of books, don’t go overboard. There are a LOT of baby/parenting books out there and not all of them are worth it. Some of my favourite books that I got the most out of and recommend are: “Eat, Sleep, Poop” “Babywise” and “Bringing up Bebe.” Between these 3, I felt like they covered all the basics. Besides that. I got a lot of my information from just looking at forums, reading mom posts, googling and being curious.

4. Set clear expectations and responsibilities with your partner.

Our little one isn’t even here yet, and we’ve already encountered many situations where we had to make informed parenting decisions on his behalf. There’s nothing like bringing a human into the world to really highlight your own relationship/partnerships, morals/values/belief systems as well as communication skills. The best time to get aligned on how you’re going to parent is during pregnancy. Take this time to discuss everything from discipline, what language you’ll speak to the child in, schooling, childcare, feeding schedules, who will do what once the baby comes, etc. It’s really important to open and strengthen the lines of communication before the baby comes, and make sure you’re on the same page so that you avoid the added stress of sorting this all out when you’re knee deep in diapers and functioning on very little sleep.

My friends also highly recommend the book “How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids” to help navigate parental roles, responsibilities and expectations after having kids. Although I haven’t read this book, it’s definitely on my list.

5. Be selfish

Remember that art project you started but never got around to finishing? What about that cute little town up North that you’ve always wanted to visit but still haven’t? Now is your chance to do it. One final cliché to round out the article: do everything you want now, because once the baby comes, you won’t have time. As part of my prep and to do lists I incorporated a bunch of selfish pursuits and projects that I wanted to start, get going or complete before baby came. It included everything from home décor, spring cleaning to travelling, shopping and blogging. Even if you can’t complete everything you want, set up a system for how you can enjoy or work on some of these pursuits or hobbies once the baby gets here. See if your mother in law can watch the baby for a couple hours once a week, while you work on your blog (my plan!) or arrange a system with your partner where you each get a night off weekly or biweekly to hang with your friends and get a break. Just because you had a baby doesn’t mean you changed as a person and being a well rounded person, maintaining your interests, hobbies, relationships and personality will not only keep you sane, but make you a better parent and role model for your little human.

However you get ready for baby, remember, trust your instincts. No matter what decisions you make, you are the center of your baby’s universe and will experience endless love and amazement at the beautiful human you created. Enjoy every second of the journey, pregnancy and beyond.

Happy parenting!

Xo

Irene